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Joke of the Day

"Bear and Rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, Bear turns to Rabbit and says, ""Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"" Rabbit says no and Bear whipes his ass with Rabbit."

"A wise Chinese man once said, ""if your dog barks, it's undercooked."""

"I have the attention span of a gold fish It's been staring at me for several minutes now."

"I like my sex like I like my banana trees If it won't bear fruit, it's not appealing."

"whenever a song says put your hands in the air i do it on the spot. i have fun and also an alarming vehicle collision record"

"How do you plant dope? Bury a blonde."

"One day the mailman is going to murder my whole family and my dog will be like ""Ha. Who needs to quit yapping and go lay down now?"""

"How did AL Gore program his computer? With the proper al-gor-ithms"

"Two blonde girls... ...were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: Disneyland left. They started crying and headed home."

"Hunters Two hunters are in the woods. One passes out, so the other calls 911. ""How may we assist you?"" ""I think my friend is dead."" ""Make sure he's dead."" *Bang* ""Done."""