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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a contradiction and a punchline? There's no punchline for this joke."
Next Joke
"Michael Gove as Education Secretary"
"How come when my kid wants to show me something, she has to place it directly inside my cornea?"
"When do you get when you take 50 lesbians and 50 civil servants? 100 people that don't do dick."
"just a thought... if Jesus was born a Jew and his father is God, does that mean god is Jewish?"
"One time I accidentally gave my cat acid. Thought he would really freak out but he just looked at me calmly and said meow for 10 hours."
"Next time you're having a bad day just remember that alligators spend their whole lives looking like they're trying to do a push-up."
"What do you call an orgy with drummers? A gang bang."
"What is the best name for an acrobat? Phillip"
"Walking a straight line and tweeting is hard enough without this asshole shining a flashlight in my eyes."