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Joke of the Day

"How do you know if you're sitting in a gay bar? If someone comes up behind you and offers to push your stool in"

"To tell you the truth, beginning a sentence with ""To tell you the truth"" throws into question all else you've previous said."

"I'm pregaming for Thanksgiving by eating 15 ham steaks and yelling at someone's family."

"This Valentine's Day I'm single by choice Just not my choice"

"Why are there so many trees in Harlem? Public Transportation"

"Customer: You said these pants were pure wool but the label says ""all cotton."" Salesman: Oh that's just to keep the moths away."

"What's the difference between skinny and squat? I never took a skinny on a girl's chest."

"So my neighbour... So my neighbour asks me if I've been stealing her clothes off of her washing line, I was so shocked I almost shat in her pants!"

"While driving, I hit a car driven by a little person. He ran up to me and said ""Hey asshole! I'm not happy!"", to which I replied.... ....""So which one *are* you then? """

"I was recently in a museum in Europe So much Picasso I wanted to Pablow my brains out"