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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""Can I have a few extra days off before Christmas?"" Boss: ""It's May."" Me: ""Sorry, may I have a few days off before Christmas?"""

"I got one for you guys... Donald Trump"

"What did the cashew say to the sneezing peanut? ""Yes, what is it?"""

"Scratches and dents on the doors of your car are the side effects of bad driving."

"Damn, girl. Are you r/Jokes? Because you tell me the same stupid shit over and over."

"What do you call a dumb bunny? A hare brain."

"Where do Neanderthals shop? Cave-mart."

"My daughter asked me to help her find a job because she's learned enough in school. She's 5."

"LPT: Think content you are looking for has been removed from the internet? Just ask the NSA, They always keep backups!"

"Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma'am? Me: No, I'm just dizzy b/c I'm having a heavy flow day. It's really clotty and... Cop: You're free to go."