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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anthea ! Anthea who ? Anthea get home by 8 O'clock or else !"

"In high school, I presented a project on communism I thought I would get terrible marx for stalin but the teacher was pretty leninent."

"A co-worker is retiring, so they're passing a card around filled with cash. I only took $10 but normally my signature is worth much more."

"The signature dish of a restaurant called the Twisted Rooster: Mobius Chicken Strips."

"What are the 5 best Vegetables of all time? tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))"

"Trump took a dump. He pumped. He jumped. Thump Thump. Whump!"

"How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb? One to hold it and the rest of the world to spin around them."

"Doing squats. And by that I mean I'm in the squat position. But really the couch is holding me up. I'm sitting on the couch."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac agnostic? He lay awake nights wondering if there was a dog."

"What's grey, has one leg, sits at the end of your bed and takes the piss out of you? A kidney dialysis machine."