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Joke of the Day

"[dark alley] Here's the $3 million, thanks again for this, be sure to send pictures. Kidnapper: Wait, don't you want your kids back?"

"I really liked the movie, Inception. It's so fast paced and keeps moving forward. Except for Mal, she keeps coming back."

"I've always wondered what mothballs smelled like. But I could never get their tiny legs apart to find out."

"Does anyone know how much a blimp is worth? I was going to google it, but I was worried it wouldn't account for inflation."

"The sandwich I ate for lunch reminded me of my dad.. gone."

"Why was the Egyptian kid confused? Because his daddy was a mummy"

"What does earth say to the other planets? You have no life"

"Reddit More like shmreddit"

"If you're going to bother Google with a search, it is polite to type ""excuse me"" first."

"I'm never drinking & driving again because the last time, it was a disaster. I lost control and ended up driving to a Robin Thicke concert."