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Joke of the Day

"Only in America do we chain $2.00 ink pens to the counter but leave our $58000 cars out in the driveway."

"Licked a frog once. He didn't turn into a prince but he did turn into an ambulance ride."

"You guys know that dude Jesus? Yeah, I heard he was a real thorn in the Romans' side"

"What's got two legs and bleeds? Half a dog"

"I came back from vacation with a serious addiction ...to the hokey-pokey, but I turned myself around."

"What do a black guy and a paraplegic have in common? They're both only three fifths of a person"

"A bad thing about living in Switzerland. The flag is a big plus, but that just adds to the problem. (I did not create the first part, but i decided to *add* the last part to the joke)"

"If Socrates had been a woman, he would've said: All I know is that I have all these clothes, but I have nothing to wear."

"What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bag outside the breast cancer ward."

"If Trump wins the election, Mexicans be like.. [removed]"