85809

Joke of the Day

"Only in America do we chain $2.00 ink pens to the counter but leave our $58000 cars out in the driveway."

"I used to be addicted to having sex with bars of soap. But then I came clean."

"I think it's lame how Justin Bieber has millions of Beliebers yet Queen Latifah only has like 8 Beliefahs."

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my cock down your throat ;)"

"What did the left leg say to the right leg? Between me and you, we need a haircut. (I got this from some UK magazine years ago)"

"Dear Middle Finger, Thanks for always sticking up for me."

"A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender for an entendre ,She says ""double or single"" he says ""Double"" she says ""OK yours is a big one """

"I'm at my most insecure when asked if I want to save changes made to a document when I am sure I did not make any changes at all."

"How about a restaurant where the minute you walk in you lose cell service and your camera app is disabled we'll call it ""ENJOY YOUR LIVES"""

"Made this joke up when I was 33. Extremely proud of it. Why did the salt fail 3rd grade. Cause it was sodiumb."