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Joke of the Day

"How about a restaurant where the minute you walk in you lose cell service and your camera app is disabled we'll call it ""ENJOY YOUR LIVES"""

"Two retarded people are having sex. I guess you could say they were going downs on each other."

"What do black guy's have that is twice the size of white men's, and expands upon contact with a woman? A criminal record."

"Judging from what most terrifies my cats, when the apocalypse comes it will be heralded by a great rustling of plastic grocery bags."

"Life is like a penis... Life is like a penis, simple, chilled and free. It's women who make it hard... And kids who make it harder."

"10 years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me! She said no both times. ( )"

"There once was a man named Dave... who found a dead whore in a cave. She was ugly as shit, and missing one tit, but think of the money he'd save."

"How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one, but we weren't able to get the work done in 1 term because we inherited a really bad situation from the prior administration."

"eer booze and fun!' 'A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks the seal ""What's your pleasure?"" The seal replies ""Anything but Canadian Club."""

"What was Cambodia's biggest export in the 90s? Pol Potting mix."