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Joke of the Day

"4 yr old daughter calls her ankle bones ""my balls"" in case you were wondering if I was raising geniuses over here."

"I love my wife And you can too for the low price of $14.99!!!"

"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. Im too lazy to do either."

"What's the difference between the Holocaust and this joke? The Holocaust was funny."

"""My phone's about to die."" -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call."

"Tell the punchline first. How do you ruin a good joke?"

"What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant? The first couple of times you cough, the loogeys aren't yours!"

"I went camping with a bunch of supermodels once. It was pretty in tents."

"How does everyone have so much to say? All I want to do is eat and stare at stuff."

"""So why do you wanna work at Petsmart?"" *imagines running out of the store with all the dogs in my arms* ""I'm a people person."""