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Joke of the Day

"Tell the punchline first. How do you ruin a good joke?"

"Whoever you are, you can't deny that Harry Potter & the Fallopian Tubes sounds like a legitimate title. Don't act like you wouldn't read it."

"Sometimes when my boyfriend makes a racist joke I am like Ugh why did I even imagine you?"

"I haven't heard from DAEMON MAILER in years. I really hope he's okay..."

"Whats the difference between a mosquito & a hot blonde chick? A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it"

"My new girl friend. Just got a new Czech girlfriend, but its taken her nearly 5 days to hoover the house. Turns out she's a Slovak."

"What's cold and scary?! I-scream!"

"I'm not saying she's a whore... But if you threw her out a window she'd be deep penetrated[.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenestration)"

"Felt sad that rabbits ate all my marigolds. Then felt glad that I don't have to water them anymore. Suburban life is a roller coaster."

"What do porn movies and disney movies have in common? Happy endings."