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Joke of the Day
"""My phone's about to die."" -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call."
Next Joke
"What is it? It has wings, but it doesn't fly, it has a beak, but it doesn't peck, it has legs, but it doesn't walk. What is it? A dead crow"
"[REPOST] How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. He stands in place while the whole world revolves around him."
"Im new to reddit S.O.S How did I asap Iraq.... I ran"
"Why do the proms stop after high school? Just because I'm an adult now doesn't mean I don't still need to grind on people to Lil' Jon songs."
"Kid Rock must be an Adult Rock by now."
"Here's a joke! My social life!"
"I broke up with a girl once by leaving a note on the front door that simply said: ""Love doesn't live here anymore, and now, neither do you."""
"Buddha is not a god But he sure looks like he ate one"
"For my birthday I'm going somewhere with no internet access. Pretty sure this will involve time travel and possibly dinosaurs."