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Joke of the Day

"Pizza is like sex... If three people are involved, someone's not gonna get as much as they want"

"Below is an email that I sent to a certain presidential candidate a few months back: [deleted]"

"Did you hear about the new protagonist in Mass effect 4? It's Commander Lamb. (From a friend of mine... Told it to me while we were in a party chat)"

"Why does Sirius Black get all the girls? Because he's a real dawg."

"Why was the baby ant confused? Because all of it's Uncles were Aunts(Ants)"

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob."

"I've had a rough morning. I woke up and tripped over my wife's bra; it was a booby trap."

"What's faster than a speeding bullet? [Religion] A Jew with a coupon."

"Why don't midgets like barbecues? because the steaks are too high."

"They're going to start playing porn at the fuel pumps.... This is so you can watch someone else being fucked at the same time as you."