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Joke of the Day

"This is why I'm leaving /r/jokes: I have a dentist appointment. I'll be back in an hour."

"TREE: [sees christmas tree thru window] who dose he think he is. all dressed up. too good to be outside ANOTHER TREE: be nice, he is dying"

"Guy:Hey what are you doing? Girl:unzipping it Guy:why? Girl:I want to see how big it is. .. *Unzips tent and gets inside* Girl:nice, nice.."

"Finally figured out that 'YOLO' is 'carpe diem' in douchebag."

"I pronounce CHampagne & CHandelier like CHimp so the lower class thinks I'm ""approachable"" & the upper class thinks I'm ""eclectic"""

"I'm inappropriate on Facebook because I have to be appropriate and follow the rules in real life."

"Religion or science? Science flies you to the moon, Religion flies you into buildings"

"Sex without love is like ice cream without sprinkles... still pretty fcuking awesome."

"[NSFW] Doctor, doctor! Woman: Doctor, doctor! I've got three vaginas! Doctor: Well are they causing you any problems? Woman: Problems!? I'm getting fucked left right and centre!"

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."