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Joke of the Day
"How do you know if somebody does crossfit? They are probably in better shape than you."
Next Joke
"I'm watching 'Dexter' for inspiration. Entertainment. I meant entertainment."
"My kids are so aware that I'm a bad driver that if I start the car before they have their seatbelts on, they cry."
"You know what I say to people with low fiber diets. Tough shit"
"What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche sitting in my garage"
"Swords just aren't naturally ""wooooshy"" enough for me, that's why I add the noise. That's why I add the noise, Janet."
"Why don't witches wear underwear? So they can get a better grip on the broom."
"I'm not saying it would kill me to work out, I'm just saying my wife bought me a gym membership and doubled my life insurance..."
"This must be the 8th castle because I just found my princess."
"Rumors are that Harry Styles is BiSexual according to a recent interview I hear they're going to change the name of the band to 'Both Directions'"