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Joke of the Day

"I'm watching 'Dexter' for inspiration. Entertainment. I meant entertainment."

"I'm not saying you're a jackass but... You're the kind of guy who would buy Anne Frank a drum set."

"A Buddhist was struggling to complete his jigsaw puzzle He just needed to find his inner piece."

"1. Buy Dick Cheney's memoir. 2. Tie it to a board. 3. Pour water on it. 4. Demand the truth. 5. Fail to get it."

"How to cow tip: First, sneak up behind the cow. Next, get into a wide stance. Finally, slip the money into it's bell."

"I'm about as jealous as a cancer patient watching x-men right now"

"Q: What did one ocean say to the other ocean? A: Nothing, they just waved."

"Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don't have elevator jobs? A: Cos they've no idea of the route."

"[runs up to a group of people] ME: ZACK ATTACK GUY: lol is your name zack or [thousands of bros crest a nearby hill] ME: [whispering] RUN"

"How do you confuse a man? You don't - they're born that way."