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Joke of the Day

"eer booze and fun!' 'Q: What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar? A: Ok you 2 dont start anything"

"I sing like an amputee I can't hold a note, can't carry a tune..."

"How do you get out of tipping on a $100 order? Order to go. Seriously, fuck you if you do this."

"How to make employees fool!!! Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! said 1 employee). They are called SATURDAYs AND SUNDAYs."

"What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus? Reprimand from the university ethics board and immediate withdrawal of all research grants."

"Want to send a 4-year-old boy into a blind rage? Repeatedly tell him he's wrong and you are positive their names are ""Batman and Robert""."

"I invented the word ""plagiarism"""

"[glances toward living room stenographer] ""Please read back what my wife said 45 seconds ago."" stenographer: I promise not to get mad"

"I miss the good old days when no one knew what gluten was."

"What's the difference between batman and a blackman? Batman can go to the store with out robin."