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Joke of the Day
"I miss the good old days when no one knew what gluten was."
Next Joke
"According to Proactiv commercials, people with acne are incapable of being happy AND finding love. Tough break, mutants."
"The wife convinced me into taking her to Hawaii if she lost 20 pounds. You'd be surprised how many M&M's someone can swallow in their sleep."
"There's something actionable in your pants."
"If you encounter a bear DON'T RUN. Maintain eye contact. Keep maintaining it. Fall in love. Marry the bear. Tell story to your grandbearbies"
"How many Sanders supporters does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, they can't change anything."
"I try not to tweet about things I'm doing incase it gets taken out of context, but this cock is delicious!"
"What's the husband's equivalent of a wife counting the days since her last period? A husband counting the days since he last had sex."
"My wife was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder... And, just my luck, not one of them likes sucking cock."
"What's the last thing a stripper does with her asshole before starting her shift? Drops him off at band practice."