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Joke of the Day

"What do drug dealers sit on? KUSHions please tell me that joke is funny, my girlfriend is trying to tell me that it isn't funny. We all know it is."

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead gorilla? There aren't any dead babies at the Cincinnati Zoo."

"How many tickles does it take to make a japanese girl laugh? Ten Tickles"

"That guy who just spent 2 hours washing and waxing his sportscar looks like a douche. C'mon boys, you know what to do. - Birds, probably"

"I spent the whole of my day with my hand in my trouser pocket. Maybe that's why I kept feeling cocky."

"I'm terrible with directions. Fuck me, left?"

"when i was a kid my father caught me wearing a ponytail so he sat me down and made me eat an entire steven seagal movie"

"BBC News: Internet trolls face longer sentences. The news comes as Twitter have announced they will be increasing the number of characters from 140 to 200."

"I took over 50,000 steps today by taping my fitness bracelet to my Roomba."

"What does a hiker love to listen to? A trail mix!"