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Joke of the Day

"A jem of a joke You"

"Why did the hipster burn his mustache on his coffee? ...he was totally drinking it before it was cool."

"Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea ? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Jared Fogle began and ended his career the same way... Trying to get into smaller pants"

"They aren't making foot rulers any longer Why you ask? If it was any longer it wouldn't be a foot"

"I admit opening an alligator petting zoo was not the best idea, but I told the kids to be careful so there's plenty of blame to go around."

"I freaked out my mailman today when I came to the door completely naked. I'm not sure what shocked him more, my naked body, or the fact that I knew where he lived."

"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad that I eventually had to take his bike away."

"Whoever said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery hasn't had a 7yo mimicking their every word for the last 10 minutes."

"I'm in a long distance relationship. My girlfriend is in the future."