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Joke of the Day

"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad that I eventually had to take his bike away."

"[Morgan Freeman narrating my life] ""He's still sleeping."""

"[2050] ""Grandpa, how did President Trump ever get elected?"" Well, we were a bit distracted. That was the year adult coloring books came out"

"What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? A Buffa-Loan!"

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on its head. That was on South Park last night and made me lose it."

"My friends eyes are so skewed.. [Original Joke] He looks like a cow"

"One time I knocked my hot curling iron off the sink & caught it in my open palm because I have the catlike reflexes of a dim-witted ninja."

"What do you call a Mexican Girl with no legs? *cunts*-*way*-*low*"

"My kids got in a fist fight while playing one of those claw machines at the pizza joint & shit like that is why I'm never sober."

"[NSFW] What do you do when your penis starts acting up? Beat the fuck out of it!"