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Joke of the Day
"The movies were right about monkeys ruling the world. They came from Baltimore."
Next Joke
"For years I thought hitchhikers were complimenting my driving."
"What do you call a cow stable in Egypt? A Mubarack"
"How do you call a car designed for midgets? Half a Romeo. I'll show myself out."
"ME: 3 Big Macs please. lol it's my cheat day CLERK: you ordered the same thing yesterday ME:[leans in] why don't u mind your own gd business"
"Dear guy sitting next to me at the bar wearing camouflage: I can still see you."
"Q: How do dogs order eggs at restaurants? A: Pooched."
"How can a mouse kill an elephant? Whispering to an elephant: "" I'm pregnant with you"""
"Waitress: ""Enjoy your meal"" Patron: ""you too"" Patron: 'why did I say that?' Waitress: [being force-fed the 6th plate of food of her shift]"
"Trump should never become president. I don't to wait 4 more years for the next Celebrity Apprentice."