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Joke of the Day

"Trump should never become president. I don't to wait 4 more years for the next Celebrity Apprentice."

"Piracy dates back to the 14th century, when armed criminals boarded ships and viciously watched movies that weren't out yet"

"If there is more anti-matter than matter in the universe ... .... does this mean that there are more anti-black lives than black lives?"

"I have the body of an eighteen year old I keep it in the fridge"

"Why were the Soviets able to beat the Western Allies to Berlin? Because they were Russian!"

"[murder scene] MORGAN FREEMAN: there are 7 deadly sins: Pride, greed, envy, lust, wrath and gl [sees victim wearing crocs] There are 8 dea"

"Can I ask you a question without you getting mad? -People who are about to piss you off"

"What happens when a plant is sad? The other plants have to photosympathize with it"

"What is the best part about having sex with twenty eight year-olds? There are twenty of them."

"What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So you're the one!"