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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do dogs order eggs at restaurants? A: Pooched."

"Q: What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months? A: An Apple turnover."

"What is the strictest part of a ship? The stern"

"I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then ask me why I'm not wearing pants."

"The Zika virus is officially sexually transmitted... Be careful next time you ask for ""a little head, baby."""

"What type of pussy does a priest get? nun"

"All you dads out there couldn't hold a candle to my dad. He's petrified of candles."

"And the award for the best neckwear goes to... Well, would you look at that, it's a tie!"

"Did you know having children is hereditary? If your parents don't have them, neither will you."

"I used to be a werewolf... but I'm alright noooooooowwwwww!"