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Joke of the Day

"What do cannibals put in their soup? Ramen! -------- Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching."

"A German installs a bath around his table Badumtisch"

"Life as a penis must be hard."

"How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."

"Have you heard about the record-setting farmer...? He's outstanding in his field"

"I thought my friend was being serious when he was talking about rimjobs Turns out it was all tongue in cheek."

"Imagine coming back to life as a zombie but someone tied your shoes together before you were buried."

"Son, I've made some questionable decisions in life & I must go away for awhile to face the consequences. How I tell my 5yo I'm off to poop"

"me: *lights cig* do u smoke? girl: no, cigarettes killed my father me: oh, cancer..? her: no, an army of them, gunned him down me: wait what"

"What do you call a balloon animal made out of a condom? A Trojan horse."