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Joke of the Day
"*Hits rock bottom. *Receives welcome basket from Twitter."
Next Joke
"Son: Will you please just try to act normal today? Me: You're going to have to be more specific."
"Whats an ex-iphone user's favorite cereal? Apple Jacks"
"There are 10 types if people in the world Those who understand binary and those who don't"
"[at pet store] ""This tortoise's shell keeps going soft. Am I doing something wrong?"" ""No, it happens. It's just a reptile dysfunction."""
"What's the best thing about a penis? Think long and hard before you answer this one."
"How did the lion lose at poker? He was playing with a cheetah."
"You know you're wrong... when YouTube commenters start agreeing with you."
"There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable"
"Couldn't afford the ""Wheres Waldo"" book for my baby niece so I just Tivo'd the winter X-games and told her to find a black man in the stands"