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Joke of the Day

"I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . . . . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?"

"Did you know President Obama can run around the White House in 11:00? It would be a record, but Bush did 9:11."

"What's a Call of Duty player's favorite social media website? Fazebook"

"Why can't you play UNO with a mexican? They always steal the green card."

"I like my women the way I like my coffee. Yup, I like blonde slutty coffee with low self esteem."

"Good choice putting $4,000 rims on your 1998 Honda Civic. That's like Betty White going out and getting her tits done."

"Guys, stop comparing Trump to Hitler. He thinks it's a compliment. Call him a middle-aged woman or a peaceful Muslim."

"Local News: GREG JOHNSON, 41, ESCAPES BEING EATEN BY BEAR Bear News: FOOD NAMED GARG RUNS FROM LUNCHTIME"

"Underwear... Because every present needs to be wrapped."

"What is it called when someone gets destroyed at online chess? Extreme Pawnage"