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Joke of the Day

"Women are just like an oven before you stick any cake batter in them, you have to preheat."

"Don't trust people that are constipated They're full of shit"

"There is nothing quite as genuine as hearing from a friend you haven't seen in forever and finding out she sells Avon now."

"Dude I'm Colin Kapernick and I'm black. Dude you're not even brown. You look like Matthew Perry. -Harold and Kumar"

"At some point Princess Peach needs to look in the mirror and ask herself what she can do to prevent getting abducted so frequently"

"I hate the French They give me the Crepes"

"I'm giving away my dead batteries. They're free of charge."

"Did you hear that the band members of No Doubt have announced they are moving forward without Gwen Stefani. It is reported they will now go by the name ""Some Doubt""."

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber!"

"The best part about having a homeless girlfriend? After the date, you can just drop her off anywhere."