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Joke of the Day

"What does a Mexican carpet fitter say to motivate his colleagues? Underlay! Underlay!"

"I just got off the phone with God. He's pretty bummed out. Poor guy has a huge crush on an atheist, but she doesn't even know he exists."

"My wife and I have a new arrangement. I can sleep with any woman I want, but she doesn't speak to me or live with me anymore."

"I didn't believe the rumours about clowns being spotted all over the country Until I saw them debating on TV."

"We arrested a troupe of mimes for their unspeakable crimes.... None of them talked. But they did point fingers."

"This one time, a work colleague declared The Avengers to be a better film than The Dark Knight. That was a busy day in HR, I can tell you."

"What was Hitler's favorite sandwich? The Auschwich."

"Did you hear about the hillbilly who asked his friends to give him their burnt-out light bulbs. He wanted to start a dark room."

"What is black, autist and takes about 9 months to grow. Non of your concern."

"Asked the burd in Krispy kremes for 5 Nutella donuts and she says ""have you got any nut allergies"" aye pal I'm planning suicide by donut"