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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I have a new arrangement. I can sleep with any woman I want, but she doesn't speak to me or live with me anymore."

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"The Mother Of All storms (Frankenstorm) is heading toward New York City... Trump better get out the hairspray."
"I tell this joke all the time on Reddit... ...it never gets gold."
"Apple needs to build a product for older gentlemen who have become fathers. iPop"
"Vaccinated kids will get this... Autism."
"Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb in a tree and act like a nut."
"You hear the one about the 13 inch ruler? Never mind. It's too long."
"Q: What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile? A: A carpet."
"When Copernicus said the Earth goes around the sun I don't think he appreciated the gravity of the situation. Science. History. Punnery."
"If you're not using Social Media to spout your uninformed opinion then you're totally missing the point of the Internet."