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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a Jewish girl's number? Ask her to roll up her sleeve."

"I don't see why Trump says we don't win anymore. We did win the Superbowl."

"Tried kidnapping Stephen Hawking the other day... Had the blindfold the bastard so he'd stop yelling for help."

"Masturbating while hooked up to a heart monitor can really mess with a hospital staff They never know if you're coming or going"

"[furniture store] Wife: We're putting in a bar. Salesman: OK Wife: And... S: Yes? W: Go ahead, say it. Me: WE'RE GONNA NEED A STOOL SAMPLE."

"*pops the hood* ""Looks like the timing nut is gone on yer muffler belt"" .. Umm r u sure you work here? *lifts eye brow, moustache falls off*"

"I used to think that Sarah Palin was a closed minded conservative Christian. ... but then I found out she is also into palm reading."

"It would suck to be named Will in the army. ""Fire at Will"""

"I dont't want to die a virgin because that means I'll have to have sex with terrorists."

"I heard y'all don't like bird jokes This could get a little hawkward"