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Joke of the Day

"I used to think that Sarah Palin was a closed minded conservative Christian. ... but then I found out she is also into palm reading."

"10101 = 20 Sorry, I'm a bit high right now."

"I spilt glue on my autobiography & then accidentally sat on it. Anyway, that's my story & I'm sticking to it."

"Skrillex sounds like that time I threw a bag of beer bottles into an empty dumpster & a homeless dude yelled jibberish at me for waking him."

"I recently went to a gathering for turtles... ..bit dull. None of us came out of our shell."

"Today I am the C.E.O of the ""I Don't Give A Sh*t"" Committee........ We Are Hiring"

"Barry? Yes Joe Can I borrow Air Force 1? I promised this girl we'd eat at the Pizza Hut in France No Joe *Biden slams fist* THIS IS BULLSHIT"

"What do you do if your daughter gets dirty in the laundry room? You washer and dryer."

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving just isn't for you."

"Why can't SCAT be legally banned? I could've gone my whole life without seeing that shit."