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Joke of the Day

"How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist? Ask him/her to pronounce unionized Edit: Gets 3000+ upvotes, Karma remains at 20..."

"I'm less upset with Lance Armstrong lying about taking performance-enchancing drugs than I am at Oprah for lying about retiring."

"If Oskar Schindler was your Uber fare... ...you'd be Schindler's Lift"

"/r/Jokes is hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm... If you can't come, please let the Mods know..."

"You guys hear about the guy who was addicted to rohypnol (Roofies)? He'd been on 'em longer than he could remember..."

"I just tripped and stumbled into a group of asian kids on the street and accidentally won a breakdancing competition."

"Why can't rappers rap about nice things? YEAH GIRL I'm GOING TO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHS AND ....... Give them to a homeless guy because he's cold"

"What's great about Trumps' little hands? Objects may appear larger when being held."

"What does the rapping shepard sing to his flock? Ewe, crank that soldier boy!"

"How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? They'll get over it."