220815

Joke of the Day

"If Oskar Schindler was your Uber fare... ...you'd be Schindler's Lift"

"[puts a tub of Blue Bell in the cart] Ma'am, did you hear there was a recall? That could be deadly. [slowly puts second tub in cart]"

"What's a pirate's favorite move in chess? Check, matey."

"Isn't Twitter basically all NSFW since we all tweet while we're at work & hit the 'Close Tab' button like a ninja when the boss walks by?"

"What is a porn star's favorite allergy medicine? (NSFW?) Bend'n'dryl"

"I like my women like I like my reality shows.... Naked and afraid."

"What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A pedophile."

"If I take a bite of your food at a restaurant and your food is better than my food, just be aware that our relationship is now in danger"

"If someone bumps into you while you are wearing camouflage you have no one to blame but yourself."

"Why do bakers go into business? Because they knead the dough"