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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what a blond and a tornado have in common? They both blow for a living."

"I can turn a case of beer into a drunk man. Your move, Jesus."

"First time flying huh? -Yeah how could you tell? Just a hunch. You wanna come down to your seat? The overhead bin is typically for luggage."

"In the 1970s it was almost impossible to insult someone electronically. Thank god that nightmare is over."

"Things I'm never going to do: - Give you up - Let you down - Run around - Desert you - Make you cry - Say goodbye - Tell a lie - Hurt you"

"I just saved thousands on child support by never getting laid."

"What do all Amish girls want? Two Mennonite"

"What do you call a smiley face if someone uses it that lives in an igloo? An Eskimoji"

"The news from Australia yesterday was terrifying That poor Muslim guy, I'd hate to be trapped in a room full of Australians too."

"What is a Canadian vampire's favourite drink? Type Eh."