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Joke of the Day

"If anyone is living vicariously through me, you just bought yourself Flintstones chewable vitamins."

"The nice thing of living in a small village is that when you don't know what you're doing someone else does."

"According to the police report, waking up in your lover's arms is only romantic when they know how you got in their house."

"Hey baby, do you like tan lines? Because I fell asleep with a badminton racquet on my face again and"

"Dad said I wasn't allowed to go out wearing this skirt because it's ""too revealing""... Fuck you, dad, I'm a grown man and I'll do what I want!"

"Your mama's mouth is like a smoke house. Everyone is always hanging their meat in it."

"This kid who wants 'two front teeth' for Christmas is full of shit."

"A gay guy and a cow?"

"So apparently the Phillies aren't serving beer this year... They lost the opener Stupid but its an Uncle joke so I had to"

"At least in 4 years we'll be able to look back at this election with 2020 vision."