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Joke of the Day

"i hate when you google stuff like 'insidious' it gives you the definition but when you google 'butt' it doesn't. define butt for me damn it"

"*hires a group of teenage girls to giggle every time you walk by*"

"How do you measure a snake? In inches. Snakes don't have any feet."

"My girlfriend said to me in bed last night, 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine.'"

"With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior."

"What did Sushie A say to Sushi B? Wasa-B! Let's roll."

"I asked the waitress if she wanted a good tip and a quickie. She said: Just the tip."

"So /r/news and /r/The_Donald walk into a bar... [removed]"

"I woke up last night and there was an enormous black coffin at the end of my bed. So I gave him a cough-drop and told him to fuck off."

"Joke stealing is not a laughing matter That's why I don't steal unfunny jokes."