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Joke of the Day

"I asked the waitress if she wanted a good tip and a quickie. She said: Just the tip."

"I'm worried my dog will never find out who's a good boy."

"Don't touch my nutella with your banana."

"Why didn't the native Americans go out to dinner? They lost their reservations."

"Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!"

"-Give it to me straight doc. -You'll never walk again. -Now give it to me gay. -You'll never stroll merrily down the boardwalk again."

"If there was award for laziness... . I would send someone else to get it."

"English version of Breaking bad in progress It will last one season with only one episode where Walt will be diagnosed with Cancer but will get treated by NHS and wil end up living on benefits."

"They opened a Tempura Shelter in my town It's for lightly battered women"

"What would you do if a kid in your class jumped out of set and took of his shirt, then ran out of the class and hoped onto a segway."