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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you run through a campsite? Because you ran when it's past tents."

"Sorry, but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, a feather off a hawk and the blood of a unicorn."

"What do you do when your lawnmower stops working? Deport him"

"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes, Whack! Damn! And a skydiver go Damn! Whack!"

"Watching my kids play the Xbox Kinect and it's taking me back to when I was a kid and we had this great game called playing outside."

"""I'm afraid I have some very bad news, sir,"" the doctor said. ""You have cancer and Alzheimer's."" ""Oh, well, at least I don't have cancer."""

"No thanks, Winter Olympics. If I wanted to see a bunch of white people playing in the snow, I'd hop on over to Facebook."

"Hey girl! Is your name Google.? Boy: Hey girl! Is your name Google.? Girl: No-But why..? Boy: bcoz you have all the things I'm searching for....!"

"Someone with a knife exactly like the one I'm holding in my hand ruined my neighbor's inflatable Christmas lawn decorations."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick up your ass. hey-yo!"