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Joke of the Day

"Someone with a knife exactly like the one I'm holding in my hand ruined my neighbor's inflatable Christmas lawn decorations."

Next Joke
 
"Where does a toilet keep his secrets? In his diarrhea."
"son: I don't think he likes me wife: your dad just has a hard time showing affection me: [holding bag of doritos] GOD I LOVE DORITOS"
"[At dinner] Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat? Me: Probably like 90% D: So it's 10% balls? Me: *spits out food*"
"What do you call a castrated German? A Munich"
"Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party? To find a tight seal."
"TIL that the term ""A stroke of luck"" has more than one meaning- -when my fortune teller gave me a handjob."
"What is definition of indefinitely? When your balls are touching her ass, you are in-definatlly"
"If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it probably can't pay its student loans."
"Knock, knock Knock knock. Who's there? Europe. Europe who? No you're a poo!"