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Joke of the Day

"How do Muslims close a door? Islams it."

"Women are like coffee beans: The coarser they are, the more you need to grind them, the finer they get."

"The only way I'd ever get to ""bang"" a hot chick, is if I run up to one and slam her head into a wall."

"Why are there no Irish lawyers? They can't pass the bar."

"[home] FRIEND: How'd family dinner go? ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here."

"I forget what I used to do with my arms before I got my iPhone. Did I hang them down by my side? Straight above my head? I really forget."

"Guy asked me where I got my green eyes. Great! Now I have to explain what the Vikings did when they got to Sicily."

"Facebook is the biggest whistle-blower of them all, telling people I saw their messages."

"Just got college letters from the marines, navy, army and coast guard. Well obviously somebody has been watching me play Call Of Duty..."

"What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana."