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Joke of the Day

"Just got college letters from the marines, navy, army and coast guard. Well obviously somebody has been watching me play Call Of Duty..."

"The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait."

"Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. Except Gary. Gary was in your house going through your underwear drawer. He also kissed your cat."

"Psychologist: Go to your happy place. Me: *grabs car keys* Psychologist: Where are you going? Me: The liquor store."

"How long does it take a black lady to shit? About 9 months."

"I'm well known for my twice-baked potatoes. I can't get anything right the firstr time"

"Perry was busy building a defensive palisade around the Musketeer compound, but it was leaning over badly. Suddenly Porthos spots the enemy and yells 'Attack! Perry, REPOST!'"

"An Irishman walk out of a bar."

"People keep asking what I thought of my Oklahoma trip It was OK"

"How did George W Bush use reggae to win his election? He needed an Al Gore riddim."