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Joke of the Day

"The only way I'd ever get to ""bang"" a hot chick, is if I run up to one and slam her head into a wall."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $3.99 and deer nuts are under a buck."

"5: ""Mommy why not?"" Me: ""Because you're driving me crazy."" 5: ""How?"" 5: ""How?"" 5: ""How?"" 5: ""How?"" 5: ""How?"" 5: ""How?"" 5: ""How?"" 5: ""How?"""

"What are Cephalopod Ghosts made of? Octoplasm."

"To my English teachers who encouraged me to create magical works of literature as a boy. Here is my 3,007th Tweet. You can be proud."

"What type of bees makes milk instead of honey? Boobies"

"I saw a sign at a highschool advertising anal ogies I was confused until I saw handwritten note saying that the printer couldn't print the letter ""R"""

"My wife is so weird She starts every conversation with ""were you even listening to me?"""

"""Hitler, no Hitlering!"" said Dora. But it was too late."

"I almost became a cop...... I decided to finish High School instead!"