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Joke of the Day

"My favorite Christmas joke: Why do Mexicans have tamale making parties on Christmas Eve? So the kids have something to unwrap on Christmas morning."

"Are designated drivers only for people who drink?? Coz I've already dropped my keys twice just walking to my car."

"First person to build a clock had no idea how long it took."

"A man gets a quote tattooed on his dick. He goes home to his wife who says, ""stop trying to put words in my mouth!"""

"You can't die, man! Not right now. Not on my watch! *lifts dead body and pulls watch put from under it*"

"Me: Whatcha making? Mom: Dill bread. Me: So, do you have yeast on your dill dough? Mom: Get out."

"My daughter just asked me about UpBro! Lol Can you believe it?"

"There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately no pun in ten did."

"Roses are red Violets are blue if DNA test proves you're my sister I'll stop sleeping with you."

"A female plumber? Yeah, I'd tap that."