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Joke of the Day

"I just ate a frozen apple! Hardcore."

"I always yell ""Cut!"" after I drop the soap in the shower because there's usually some Peeping Tom filming me & I want that part edited out."

"I asked a nerd what his New Year's resolution was. He said, ""1920x1080""."

"So when you play a wind instrument.... Do you suck, or blow? My Dad made that one up, so I can't take the credit :P"

"I can't believe my neighbors came to my house at 5:00 AM... ...thank god I was already up playing the bagpipes."

"How do you start a black parade? Roll a 40 down the street."

"Most 00's kids won't get these... Decent jobs"

"looking for a great stand up comedy show? just watch the GOP debate"

"If your relationship has more issues than a magazine stand then I suggest you cancel that subscription"

"You haven't seen true happiness until you've looked into the face of a white person when The Cha Cha Slide comes on at a wedding."