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Joke of the Day

"I can't believe my neighbors came to my house at 5:00 AM... ...thank god I was already up playing the bagpipes."

"The iPhone 7 may be revolutionary and everything.... But the Samsung Note 7 blows you away."

"When I was a child I dreamed of being an old west cowboy. When I grew up I realized they didn't have toilet paper with aloe."

"What's it called when you backtalk someone so hard they die? A sassination."

"Made me laugh a bit A former Vice President recently wrote a song about math. It's called the Al Gore Rhythm."

"If you steal somebody's rap lyrics, is it a rob-bar-y?"

"How do you know when a cat's done cleaning itself? It's smoking a cigarette."

"What does a Texan do if he breaks up with his girl friend? He dates his other sister."

"People wonder what my abusive father does after mom left us... Beats me.."

"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on a frozen lake. They weren't talking so I decided to go over and break the ice."