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Joke of the Day

"I can't believe my neighbors came to my house at 5:00 AM... ...thank god I was already up playing the bagpipes."

"What is E.T. short for? Hes got wee legs"

"The United States has fallen into disrepair, due to a great catastrophe... ...they say it was called: ""The 2016 Presidential Election Season"""

"I wish I had emo hair So it would cut its self"

"I always carry a picture of my wife and children in my wallet. It reminds me why there's no fucking money in there."

"How does a pregnant black woman fight crime? Abortion"

"When does 2-1=0 ? When you're talking about choices."

"Why did the imgurian cross the road? To get the meme on the other side"

"What's the difference between the Welland bus terminal and a Lobster with breast implants? One is a busty crustacean, and the other is a crusty bus station."

"I just want to meet a nice girl who hates the same stuff as me."