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Joke of the Day

"So when you play a wind instrument.... Do you suck, or blow? My Dad made that one up, so I can't take the credit :P"

"I told my girlfriend to make a sextape together. She agreed. It became a vine"

"What do you call a nutritionist who sidelines as an automotive journalist? A carb-o-rater"

"I really wish my boss would fall for the ""but all my friends are allowed to be late to work"" excuse."

"Tonight's Menu: Gourmet pork blend sausage with organic tomato reduction, served on warm split bread rolls. AKA: Hot dogs with ketchup."

"Potassium would be the worst element to chat with He (or she) would always reply with ""K""."

"""Pharaoh, we have completed the pyramids. They align to communicate with the galaxy"" Sweet. Hey look at these stupid cats I drew LOL"

"I used to have a car that was made out of wood... The only problem was it woodn't go!"

"They say you can never judge a book by its cover. But it's the only way to judge a tribute band."

"[therapy] HIM: Should we talk about the elephant in the room? ME: I don't like to talk about him ELEPHANT: Ok wow I'm like right here man"