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Joke of the Day

"I fear my neighbor may be stalking me, she's been googling my name last night on her computer. I saw it clearly through my binoculars."

"Batman V Superman 2: Both men agree their last battle was too destructive They settle their differences by playing Uno Loser leaves earth"

"Have you seen the current remake of the movie ""Cape Fear""? It's about a deranged psychotic who is seeking revenge against a lawyer. The question is while watching the movie whom do you root for?"

"William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ? Mum: What crying man ? William: The one that's crying 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'"

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize Ayy"

"Aww, you ""only wish the best for your exes?"" That's cool, I lie about things too."

"The NSA is to blame for obesity in The United States. Because the camera ads 10 pounds."

"I'm voting for Trump... I've never seen a president assassinated."

"I fully support any type of marriage that doesn't involve me."

"Behind every entitled shit-head kid is a parent who cuts the crusts off their sandwiches."