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Joke of the Day
"Aww, you ""only wish the best for your exes?"" That's cool, I lie about things too."
Next Joke
"When the police asked me where I was between 4 and 5, apparently ""Kindergarten"" wasn't the answer he was looking for."
"A man was about to jump off the Empire State Building... A physicist runs up to him and shouts ""Don't do it you have so much potential!"""
"Is your refrigerator running? Because if your fridge is moving on its own volition you have bigger fucking problems than the goddamn election"
"My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I'm fearful of her college days."
"If I had a nickel for every hot woman at Ross I saw... I'd forget about all the money I made because I fucked them all."
"Have you ever considered letting your wife sleep with a marriage counselor? - me as a marriage counselor"
"What is worse, ignorance or indifference? I don't know and I don't care"
"Hello Darkness, my old frie- *the lights suddenly turn on* oh it's like that now?"
"So I was eating out this girl one time... And then I tasted horse cum, and said ''Grandma that's how you died''"