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Joke of the Day

"Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they'll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food."

"If you have worked and didn't get anything, it means someone else got it."

"A roman walks into a bar, holds two fingers up and says ""5 beers please"""

"Q: What famouse Arkansas State Supreme Court decision is Hilary Clinton famous for? A: If you divorce your wife in Arkansas is she still your cousin?"

"Did you hear about the construction worker that got arrested? He was handling his wood in public."

"The one-legged man couldn't understand an online tutorial. It had step-by-step instructions."

"I didn't ask for a sweet roll? Oh, sorry, I thought you had said, ""synonym bun""."

"Today marks a full year of keeping the baby alive. Now I want a goldfish"

"I tried to sign up to a website yesterday. I put in the password 'beefstew' But it said the password wasn't stroganoff."

"Like my Great Grandmother always used to say,,,, Marry someone who will love you for your posts and not your profile picture.'"