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Joke of the Day

"Has anybody lost a large roll of 20 dollar notes in a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band"

"Interviewer: So when did you decide you wanted to be a sumo wrestler? Me: When someone tried to get me onto the dancefloor at a wedding."

"What do porn stars and prostitutes say when they wake up in the morning? Time to suck today's dick!"

"All good things must come to an end, which means shitty things last forever."

"Did you hear about the man who was born without any ears? Niether did he."

"How did the T-Rex feel after his workout session? He felt dinosore."

"Just another Saturday night at home alternating between sweet and salty snacks until I disgust myself enough to go to bed."

"Just remember, if you're attractive and they're ugly, it's not sexual harassment. You're giving them a compliment."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Well it ain't three cause my basement is still dark."

"[interview] Ok, don't let them know you're naked ""Why are you naked?"" dammit"